Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You need Xanax blowdarts
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
