You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Floor bacon is actually really good
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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