I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I deserve this hangover.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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