You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
