It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
soo... how was my night?
Randomize