Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize