I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
