I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize