Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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