need another drink. this is the easiest way
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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