just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
