I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
You work out of a Hotel?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Randomize
