just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize