in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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