Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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