i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
