I hope mine doesn't look like that
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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