Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
