Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
