I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
smell my finger.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
