I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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