You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
