life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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