at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
