HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
