The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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