But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
