At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
