the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
