I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
only you would photoshop your dick
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
