Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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