i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
