Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize