cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
