I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
