Yo dont text me then not text me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
