I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
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