Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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