Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize