Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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