sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
