Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
