How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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