so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
