just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
