i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
