im about as happy as oj after his trial
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
