I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
