i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
