I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We just shotgunned beers for America
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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