Where did you get a picture of my penis
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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