Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
