I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
