2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
