I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize