kristin has been a bad kristin
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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