Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
