We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
