Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So vagazzling was a success
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
