I hate all girls vehemently.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Someone came in the potted fern
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
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