therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
