im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
