I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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