I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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