Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I looked at my own cervix.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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