Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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