He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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