Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
