My first STD was from a foam party
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
