i may or may not be watching the land before time
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
