oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
