I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
