Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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