i would punch a child for taco bell
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
