i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
