HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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