I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
