need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
