i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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